hell yes lets make some ravioli
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
