Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
