forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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