so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
