Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
