I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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