he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
