Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
