I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Pooping to opera.
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