The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
