how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
