i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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