billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
