I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize