I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
