apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
