Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
