He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
