So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
