All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
