Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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