It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
