made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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