its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
