I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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