Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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