I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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