My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
