We're facebook friends in real life
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
