let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize