why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
