You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
