We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize