Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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