Walk of Shame. In a state park.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
