Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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