This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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