i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
