I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
