well you can't waste a boner
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
