I must be too annoying 4 u.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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