I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
