No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
