There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
