Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
