i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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