A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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