i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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