On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
