I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
