Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
