found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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