I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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