She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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