Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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