Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
