My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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