dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
