but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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