I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I didn't shave. On purpose
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
