i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
