he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize