So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
